I had a dream; I got everything I wanted

...not what you think.

I allow in “all the feels”. It’s what I have been wanting for so many years. All the joy. All the love. All the destabilizing. All the confusion. All the agony. Doesn’t it feel better to FEEL than to not feel?

Sometimes I wonder.

Did I get everything I wanted … when my heart was punched, bruised, and then shattered by a love I never dreamed would take the turn onto THIS road?

If some part of me wanted to avoid the soul-crushing slow fade of so many relationships.

If some part of me wanted to know EXACTLY the risks of deep resonant connection across many miles.

If some part of me wanted to understand I could lose everything, to know the stakes of a “half-life”.

Maybe those parts are worth listening to. And if that, then what? Agony/solace, death/birth, shattering/kintsugi, release/receive, undone/becoming.

There’s so much more. For you. For me. For all of us. Believe it.